All I did today was to overthink. I felt helpless then, paralyzed by my own fear of what I have become and what I am becoming of.
Tell me I don’t matter now. Save me from making assumptions.
Save me from you now, please.
I always confuse my feelings of appreciation as love. Maybe this is why I keep getting hurt. I don’t really know whether I like someone or am I just bored. I hurt people with my being hasty about judging my ‘feelings’ as love or people do it to me all the same.
I guess I’ve been becoming so needy of love and of being appreciated that I’m gradually forgetting what love really is.
Why do we like the people we can’t have? This system’s all fucked up.
"Note to self: “I love you” does not mean “I won’t ever leave you."
"It’s better to have nobody, than to have someone who is half there, or doesn’t want to be there."
These thoughts of mine keep getting bigger and bigger, heavier and heavier. It’s getting harder to carry.
Everyday, I see myself being consumed by my fears right infront of my very eyes and it scares the hell out of me.
I’m afraid. I’m barely breathing. My head’s below the surface.
time flew so fast —
seconds turned to minutes
minutes turned to hours
hours turned to days
days turned to weeks
weeks turned to months.
the season already changed
but i’m still here waiting —
waiting for a miracle to happen —
waiting for you to come back.
It hurts but I’m used to it that it almost means nothing to me. I cared to much to try and look where it has gotten me. Numb from pain, ignorant from love, needy for purpose and tired of hoping.